I was walking along Headington Road toward the city centre when a drunken man said hello and struck up a conversation with me. Amidst laughing my head off, here are a few of things that I remember him saying:

Drunk: I’m only five years old and I’m Robert the Bruce.
Me: Hi, I’m William Wallace.
Drunk: You’re bloody amazing!

After performing what seemed to be an attempt at a comedy routine that had me cracking up, I asked:

Me: Are you a comedian?
Drunk: Are you laughing?

He had a point there. Then he asked:

Drunk: Are you from Canada?
Me: No I’m from the US, California.
Drunk: I know where you’re from. Wisconisn.
Me: Actually close. Ohio.
Drunk: 200 miles between them. D*** I’m good.